


The Impala Ships Destiel

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is adorable, Crack, Dean is Irritable, Fluff, Impala Ships Destiel, M/M, Sam Has Mommy Issues, Terrible Taste in Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The most recent problems in the dust, Winchester eyes now turn to an increasingly more pressing issue - the irritating sexual tension between Dean Winchester and Castiel. </p><p>Or, the one where the Impala has terrible taste in music.</p><p>I'm not even sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Impala Ships Destiel

Among the many things that the Winchester family has dealt with, a problem like  _getting bro number uno and his ex-angel buddy to lose the soap opera and start the romance_ probably rates as normal.  Or at least it would, if the problem in question was one held by Sam Winchester, and not by the individual who had to put up with the bulk of their bullshit.

 _  
_That individual, naturally, would be the one who's died almost as much as the boys themselves. The Impala, while perhaps not quite as burdened with issues, considered itself as much a Winchester as any of them, and thus took it to heart when things became tough.

 

Once the most recent troubles had passed, the Impala took up the task of finally sitting Dean down and talking to him about his bizarre love life.

 

\--------

 

Of course, seeing as the Impala couldn't actually speak, it was forced to resort to more roundabout measures. Being a Winchester, it was anything if not resourceful. A few months after shit hit the fan and all was once again well, the Impala found an opportunity to bring up the problem to Dean while they were out on a drive. 

 

Dean, being Dean, took it about how one might expect.

 

The Impala opened the conversation amiably, with a song currently playing on a local radio station: _"...good to hear your voice, sayin' my name, it sounds so sweet. Comin' from the lips of an..."_ The song went on, but was drowned out by Dean's panicked shout.

 

"What the hell!"

 

This was followed by Dean pulling them over and spending about an hour looking for the cause of the supposedly malfunctioning radio. The Impala was rather disappointed at failing to get its message across, but it allowed itself to bask in the attention - even though its plan had been delayed. Once Dean decided it had been a fluke, he returned to the driver's seat and gave the radio a funny look.

 

"Sorry, baby, but you've got bad taste in music," he said as he turned the key in the ignition.

 

The Impala disagreed, but it didn't say so.

 

\-----------

 

After the failure at bringing up Dean's big gay issue to the man himself, the Impala decided it needed to enlist some help. An opportunity rose approximately three days later, when Sam borrowed the car to go buy beer - the Impala knew about the Christmas shopping, but it didn't say anything.

 

As they pulled out of the bunker, the Impala attempted to bring up the problem to Sam.  _"If you were gaay...that'd be okay! You know cause..."_  The song died seconds later when Sam stopped the car and turned it off.

 

"Knew he was up to something. It's on," Sam said, then restarted the car.

 

The Impala reasoned that its song choice could possibly use some improvement. It weighed its options for the rest of the drive, and as they pulled into the grocery store parking lot, it was struck with inspiration.  _"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night..."_

 

Sam parked the Impala, gave it a strange look, and walked away quickly. When he returned, there were no mistletoe-shaped grocery bags.

 

The Impala reasoned that using a song that included a mother probably hadn't helped its case.

 

\-----------

 

The next opportunity didn't come for a week, but the Impala relished when it did. The moment it sensed the presence of its owner's beloved, it had mixed feelings of trepidation and elation. Trepidation, because it remembered his driving lessons. Elation, because Cas might be more likely to listen.

 

Before Cas started the Impala, Dean leaned in the window. "Take care of my baby, capise? Radio's been acting up a little lately, but it should be fine. Sure you don't want me to go?"

 

Cas frowned. "It's Christmas shopping, Dean. Sam said you're not supposed to see what I get you."

 

Dean huffed, but he let Cas roll up the window, and minutes later - a series of waves and long glances slowing progress - the Impala and Cas were off to shop.

 

 _"I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need..."_   The Impala allowed the song to play softly as they drove away. Cas gave the radio a small frown, but he made no move to turn it off, and by the end even had a small smile.

 

The Impala counted that as a success.

 

\-------

 

Unfortunately, the situation concerning Dean and Cas didn't seem to improve, and it took the Impala less than a month to become fed up with their bullshit. On the way home from a salt-and-burn in Ohio, the Impala chose to stop in the middle of a long and lonely stretch of road, refusing to react no matter how much Dean pleaded or cursed or stomped.

 

Two hours later found Cas leaning against the hood of the Impala watching Dean yell into the phone to Sam.

 

"Sam, she's been acting up for weeks, and I'm telling you this is complete bullshit! There's nothing wrong with her!"

 

The Impala was frustrated.  _"This kiss, this kiss - unstoppable! This kiss, this kiss..."_

 

"Yes, I checked that Sam. No, that's not it. Yes, I checked that too."

 

"Dean," Cas said quietly.

 

 _"Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me..."_ The Impala added.

 

"No, she's not possessed. She's just lost it or something."

 

"Dean," Cas said urgently.

 

_"...from the lips of an angel..."_

_  
_"Cas?" Dean said, surprise coloring his tone.

 

There was silence and shuffling.

 

Dean made a coughing sound. "Um...I think Cas found the problem. We'll be home in a bit."

 

Cas hummed, impatient.

 

The phone landed in the driver's seat, and wasn't retrieved for quite a while. No one was complaining, least of all the Impala.  _"At last...my love has come along...my lonely days are over..."_

 

"We get it, okay!" Dean growled, sounding suspiciously muffled and breathless.

 

If the Impala had been able to, it would have smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> This was...interesting. Nah, not really. I felt like writing something a bit cracky, and had always wanted an Impala-ships-it fic, so I wrote this. Hope you guys like it!


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